Tag Archives: red flag

U Teach Ur Partner How 2 Treat U

10 Mar

All while looking on Facebook the other day, I burdened myself with thoughts of the past.  Specifically, the image of my ex came to mind.  What triggered this was the FB status of my cousin.  Her status said, “You teach people how to treat you.”  Even though my cousin’s know-it-all attitude irritates the hell out of me, I couldn’t deny the truth in her status.  In life you do teach people how to treat you and in romantic relationships… even more so.  When I say “teach” please try not to take it literally.  The type of teaching I am referring to does not require pencil and paper.  A significant other can simply learn how to treat you by observing your interaction with them.  If your partner does enough analyzing,  he/she can get to the nitty-gritty of your personality.  They can know your strengths, weaknesses, what makes you tick, and most importantly, what they can get away with.  For this reason, it is so crucial that right from the beginning of a relationship when a problem arises don’t brush it off with silence, instead speak out.

This was a hard lesson that I had to learn from experience.  While lingering on my cousin’s status, I flashed back to a time where I spotted the first red flag pertaining to my ex and I retaliated with silence (big mistake).  It was the late afternoon, classes were done for the day, and I walked to CVS with him.  As I searched for a particular item in the pharmacy,  he asked me to buy a Arizona Ice Tea for him.  With the impression that I would be swiping him into the campus cafeteria pretty soon, my immediate answer was a no.  I guess my answer ticked him off and as a result he responded with, “You cheap baster!”  Yes, this was the RED FLAG.  And how did I react to his verbal abuse?  I laughed.  I laughed because I genuinely thought his bratty outburst was  funny.  However, this is where I went wrong.  Rather than laughing, I should have demanded an apology and his respect.  Later that day he did apologize, but later on in the relationship the name calling became a habit and got worse.  If I nipped the problem in the bud right away, could things have been different?  The way a situation like this is handled can really set the tone for a relationship.

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